tough guy // tough questions ­čĺ¬

If you would have asked me a year ago if I wanted to have kids, I would have awkwardly laughed and avoided giving an answer. To be honest, I always envisioned myself being a parent; the path I would take to create that family was just unclear. The idea of being pregnant or giving birth was something I only associated with female body changes, gender roles and stereotypes- all the things that seemed to intensify my anxiety and gender dysphoria. I could not imagine ever wanting to put myself through that. Since starting a low dose of testosterone and getting top surgery I feel a new sense of comfort and power in my slowly changing body. It finally feels like it's beginning to reflect me. Now, when I try to envision being pregnant, I don't see it as female or feminine right of passage. While that may be what it is for many other people, that's not what it would look like for me. My pathway to family, whether through pregnancy, surrogacy, adoption, or other means, will not be about gender, but my desire to have a child. I'm not exactly sure what that journey will look like, but I'm beginning to research the options.