with space and silence one can clearly hear their heart

life has so many distractions and pressures it's almost too easy to lose oneself in work, school, relationships, and financial responsibilities. Growing up, I constantly received messages that my happiness would be directly correlated with success in each of these areas of life. That was definitely not the case. The farther I progressed towards this version of success, the more lost I became. Over time, these inherent parts of life became loud noise, preventing me from hearing and living my truth. It was when I finally stepped away from certain friendships, places, roles, and habits that I was able to find the silence and space to hear my heart.
even before my mind had the language to articulate my gender as trans and nonbinary, my heart knew who I was. This deep sense of knowing grew stronger and stronger. I could no longer go back to a place of not knowing; hiding who I was from the world became more and more painful as time went on. I would cry myself to sleep at night, feeling paralyzed by all things I wanted and needed for myself. These things also terrified me and appeared out of grasp. It finally got to a point that I couldn't take the pain any longer and knew I couldn't do it alone. I could either be stuck in my sadness or share who I am with my family and friends. I chose to take that leap and life began again.