alignment: to find a position or arrangement of agreement
when beginning my alignment, I didn’t want all aspects of my appearance to change. In actuality, I didn’t want much to change, I just wanted to feel (in my body and mind) like the #nonbinary person I am. I started with wearing clothes from the “mens” section of the store. A year or two later, I cut off all my hair. After the initial excitement of these changes wore off, the gender dysphoria really settled in and I began having extreme social anxiety. To help cope, I began wearing a binder. For a long time, the binder felt like an empowering expression of my authentic gender. Then suddenly it became a reminder of all the parts of my body I struggled to accept. The farther I got into my alignment, the more sure I became about pursuing #topsurgeryand #hrt. The temporary expressions of my nonbinary gender were no longer sufficient. I felt a deep need to be more male. That’s why I began a low dose of testosterone— to manage the constant desire for internal/external masculinity and maleness without drastically (and rapidly) altering my appearance to hyper-masculine.