becoming the person you’ve dreamed of starts with hope — then you can share that hope with others

yesterday marked 4 years and 11 months with this beauty. The way she sees me conveys a sense of belonging — on this planet, in my body, and with her — that I never imagined being able to feel.

we have definitely gone through our fair share of ups and downs over the course of the relationship. For me, many of the downs are associated with moments when I most struggled with my accepting my #trans#nonbinary gender. I tried to shut her out. My head was so overwhelmed with fears and confusion, I felt I had nothing to offer (including my body). There were moments when I thought we lost the intimacy that was such a driving force in the beginning of the relationship and I knew the root cause was my gender dysphoria, emotional pain, and discomfort in my body. Even though she was concerned about the unknown, I cannot recall a single time she wavered in her desire to be with me.

in her eyes, the challenges that presented themselves were simply things we would get through, and in the end, would make our relationship stronger. I struggled to meet her in that mindset until very recently. 

when I was finally able to step back from the overwhelm and let myself truly feel my fears, worries, anxieties about starting #testosterone, getting #topsurgery, and sharing my #trans #nonbinary gender with those closest to me, I found the motivation to face them head on and move forward. I’m not sure this would have been possible without Nola's unshakable support and love for who I was, am and will be— because of and regardless of my gender.

Mere Abrams