love isn't just a gift you give away--save some for yourself

my desire to love and be loved by others distracted me from learning how to love myself for a very long time. I look back on my relationship history and see a glaring pattern of giving too much of myself and being in relationships with people who I thought I could/needed to fix. I would get over-involved in their issues and allowed the needs of those closest to me to consume all of my emotional energy. This never ended well and lead to a great deal of heartache. It wasn’t until I was 22 that I actually began to consider what it would be like to think about and love myself as much as I did others. 

Figuring out my gender wasn’t a lightbulb moment for me. The clarity to see and understand who I am grew out of learning how to love myself (and value that love) just as much as I do others. Today I am reminded of that. 

Mere Abrams