the darkness is less dark, the edges are less sharp yet dysphoria still remains

It moves from my chest to my hips to my voice to my face to my hair to my lower body. When it began, it was easy to pinpoint because it was so obvious in certain situations and concentrated in particular areas and body parts. Now I'm 14 months postop #topsurgery and 22 months on #testosterone, and while my gender and body feel much more aligned and congruent, some dysphoria is still there...it just manifests itself differently and is less distressing and intense. I've come to terms with the fact the dysphoria may always be there (to varying degrees of course). As a nonbinary person who describes their gender as both masculine and feminine, I wonder whether there will be a time when the dysphoria I currently feel towards being more masculine may someday present itself as wanting to be more outwardly feminine. I'm okay with that. It is a daily struggle not let feelings of dysphoria define my overall level of happiness and quality of life. It's just one piece of my journey

Mere Abrams